Summer is finally over

I find Summers to always be a bit challenging. Always finding myself in a position where I have to work harder than I do in any other season. I am grateful for the time I did enjoy the sun and the overall peace of mind that Summer can bring. The clarity coming from the long days and the sun constantly shining. Now that Autumns here officially I am in place where I no longer need or want the things I had before. I want freedom. I want stability and I don’t want to feel like I have to risk my sanity for it.

So I won’t. I used to think I had to trade my art in turn for real adulthood, jobs and being under someone’s thumb. I thought somehow that would bring me more stability than chasing after what it is I truly want. I know now that it couldn’t be further from the truth. I realized this Summer how sad I was these past few years. The constant bills, grinding culture, and taking care of everything by myself had really gotten to me mentally. I faced dark thoughts and the belief that I wasn’t strong enough to live this life. Sad realization that I ever felt this way.

“ERA III” is what I am calling this chapter. No matter what it may look like, I feel as if this is truly the first time I have ever chosen myself. I am so excited to be rewarded for that alone.